Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Wedding mayhem

Those of you whom follow me on Twitter or read this or my other blog, will know that Drew and I are finally tying the knot after 10 years together, this coming June.

We have booked the ceremony, we have also booked the reception venue and catering.
We even have the 3 bridesmaids dresses hanging neatly in the wardrobe.

Is this ahead of schedule? I have no idea!
Am I trying to race ahead? Possibly.

It's not that I'm over excited about the prospect of a wedding. I simply want to get everything sorted as soon as possible, so it's done and I can stop worrying about it all.

It's all the fiddly bits that take the time.
I mean, do you really have to have favours?
Would the wedding be deemed a disaster if we didn't pay an extra £300 odd for an evening buffet which, if bought from a shop would cost around £50?
Would it really be that terrible if we didn't spend an absolute fortune on flowers and decorations?
Seriously, what do you do with all this stuff afterwards?

We want simple, we want low key, we want something that is us.

Someone on Twitter asked me "Why are you bothering to get married now, after so long?"

Is there some kind of hidden etiquette that we have overlooked? Are you considered 'not worthy' of a marriage after a decade of living together?

In all honesty, the reasons we are getting married now are very personal ones.
Drew has wanted to get married for some time now, but there have always been far more urgent things to spend our money on. The older girls have also been questioning the difference in surnames. Although, this has absolutely no impact on our decision to get hitched.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't believe in marriage, I know people who have been married for over half a century, and I think they're amazing!
I just didn't think that really, and truly, in this day and age it mattered a whole lot. It's a ring and a piece of paper. It doesn't change our relationship, it just gives us the right to refer to each other as 'Husband' and 'Wife'.

A lot of people talk about the 'security' in a marriage. Many feel that a man can't just 'walk out' whenever he feels like it.

Obviously, these people have never heard of separation and divorce!
Is there really any security in marriage these days? I don't think so.
Plus, after 10 years of 'try before you buy' I think we're way beyond the returns policy now!

Others talk about the 'social status' of being married.
Again, I really don't think that this 'social status' exists in the 'real world'. Maybe in Hoity-toity communities where Yacht Clubs and Butlers are all the rage, but here in rural suburbia, where we're surrounded by single parents and teenage pregnancies by the ton, if you're not considered a 'Chav' or 'Pikey' you're already made it more than half way up the food chain.

So I am getting married. Yes, after 10 years of being with my partner. Yes, after we have already had several homes, cars, holidays and children together. Yes, because we still love each other.
But also, because we have come to a point where this is important to us, for reasons I won't go into on here. Not for the conventional reasons, or because we Drew thinks marriage is important, or because we "insist on doing things the wrong way around" (as someone suggested!) Because now we want to and now we feel the need to.

So this wedding is going to be great. No matter how much we spend, or where we go on our honeymoon (A trip to London for the CyberMummy Conference!!) It will be great because it's our decision. It's our time.
We will be surrounded by our beautiful family and a few fantastic friends. It will be the first day of our next decade together.

No comments:

Post a Comment