Dear So and So..

Dear Lauryn, Ashley and Bailey.

If you insist on removing every single toy from every orifice in the house at breakfast time on a school day, I will get angry. You will have to tidy it up, and you will be late for school.

I do not care that you will be the last one to arrive at your classroom, or that you will not have time to participate in 'Show and Tell', I do not have time to re tidy the entire downstairs of our home and get four of you fed, washed, dressed and groomed before we have to leave the house in the mornings.

Do me a favour, just stop it dammit.

Love Mumma.

___________________________________________________________________

Dear Drew

'Man Flu' is no worse then normal flu. Stop using this term as an excuse to sit in bed and watch movies and Sky+ all friggin day. I am tired too, but I have to keep going.
Get over it.

Love future wifey.

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Che,

Dude, you really must master the art of sitting your butt down once you have tired yourself of standing.
Screaming and yelling 'Mumma' at the top of your lungs until I sit you on the floor is getting old.

Love your very frustrated Mumma.

_____________________________________________________________________

Dear Man at reception venue

ANSWER YOUR FRIGGIN' PHONE DAMMIT!

Love a VERY angry Bride to be.

______________________________________________________________________

Dear Dave the cat

If you feck me off one more time this week, I am going to punish you by locking the door when I'm in the bath. No swim time for you... *insert evil laughter here*

Love your pee'd off human Mummy

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