Why do so many people frown upon the word 'Sex', yet favour slang words like 'Bumping Uglies'?
I mean seriously, what's so wrong with sex?
I hate the mushy, 'romantic' terms like 'Making Love' too. You can't 'make love'. You either have it, or you don't.
I cringe every time I hear those words muttered, either in real life or on T.V. Does anyone really find the words 'Let's make love' in any way arousing?
We seem to live in a culture now, where you have to have fun when having sex. When I say fun, I don't mean enjoyment, because, of course, sex has to be enjoyable for the both of you (or more, if that's your thing) What I mean by fun in this respect is 'a giggle', 'a laugh', 'a joke'.
I don't get it!
If Drew were to strut up behind me one night while I'm in the middle of the washing up and whisper seductively in my ear "Do you fancy a game of 'hide the sausage'?" I can honestly say that it would not put me in the right mood at all, in fact quite the opposite!
I'm not prudish (as some people seem to think), but I don't like childishness in these grown up situations.
I spend my days with four young children, wiping snotty noses and shitty arses, when it comes to 'grown up time' I want it to be just that. A clear distinction, not baby talk, silly rhymes or stupid slang. I want adult company, and adult conversation and adult play in the bedroom.
I don't mind lovey dovey, long slow seductive kisses and hot breathless encounters, in fact, that's great, as long as all the ridiculous clichés aren't tagging along for the ride.
Then there's the fabulous 'Mummy Sex' aka the quicky before the kids come home/wake up/wonder where you've snuck off to for 5 minutes, which requires no 'funny business' as there simply is no time. It's all about the lust, and the need to be an adult for those few brief moments.
Dirty talk is fine, in fact it's encouraged, as is role play, dressing up and the like.It makes things a little more exciting and grown up and fun (in a proper sense of the word!)
Maybe I'm old before my time? Maybe I'm just desperately craving some adult interaction at the end of my days with the children? But is that so wrong?
So teenagers and you, if you prefer, can keep the slang phrases:
'Shagging', 'Bonking', 'Potting the pink', 'Humping','Banging', 'Boning' and 'Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow' because, somehow, none of these words get my pulse racing..