Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Tis the Season

I'm not talking about Christmas, I am, of course, talking about birthday's!

I have a large family, and have at least 2 birthdays in every single month of the year, but October sees the start of my families birthday season.
Drew will be turning 34 and our gorgeous little boy, Che Lennon will be celebrating his very first birthday!
November sees our big girl, Lauryn turn 7, then just after Christmas, Ashley will celebrate her 6th year.
(We managed to plan Bailey's birth well, and she will start her 4th year in July)

Now as I said I have at least two birthday's in each month of the year.. These birthday's are just our little families, we also have (all family) 3 others in October, 2 more in November, 2 in December and 3 more in January! Add Christmas to the mix and these next few months are a real expense for us.

I have been reading various blogs regarding parties for their children's birthday's and I have to confess, I am panicking somewhat about little Che's 1st birthday next month. I know it's only his first birthday but all of the girls had a little party with a couple of friends either at a soft play centre or at home. The problem is I feel a little under pressure this time around. I know that that pressure is coming from me, but I feel quite strongly about this birthday.

Che is, not only our only boy, but he is also our last baby. There will be no more reproducing for us. And despite having 4 young children, I still feel a large pang that I will not ever be pregnant again. I will never ever have another baby of my own. I will never have the name debate, or the picking of the first outfit again. And, of course, I will never ever have the all important first birthday again. This makes me extremely sad.

My extended family are mostly female, thus another panicky moment approaching... I don't do boys!!
I haven't a clue where to start. Girls, no problem. Pink, sparkly, and cute.. But boys? They are alien to me.

I suspect that, this being his first, will be the easiest birthday and party for me to organise. Subsequent years will prove to be more difficult, with the inevitable messy, stampeding throng of charging pre-schoolers to try and contend with. So why am I so scared of this birthday?

I can't actually answer that question, without sounding like a complete and utter lunatic, who belongs in a straight jacket, accessorised with padded cell.

My baby has grown up. My last baby has grown up. And this will be my last first birthday.

Sad? Probably. Idiotic? Certainly. Emotional? Most definitely.


  1. Aww Kerry I do know how you feel. I keep having baby dreams and also feel sad that I wont ever be pregnant again or feel the joy of a newborn baby and a cute little 6 month old clinging on my hip. I miss that. Part of me wishes for one more. But I also know that it would be idiotic in our situation to have more children. Dont get me wrong I LOVE the stage that my girls are at, and am enjoying every minute. But, it sad closing the door on the baby stuff. Che is still little, and your much wanted little enjoy it all. But I hear you..and it seems everyone is preggie right now which doesnt help!!! xxxx

  2. I can just imagine how you feel. I only have one little boy. I'd love another, but I'm not sure when (if ever) it will happen. He's just turned two and the older he gets the more I start to miss my baby. I love who he's becoming and I want to see more of what he will grow into but at the same time I want my baby forever.

    The impossibilities of life, eh.

    Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Why not play it simple and go for In the Night Garden or something like that? Or, like the other Mums, go to a soft play centre and let them to the work for you. Don't get stressed. Enjoy it. It's your time too. Remember that.


    Becca xx