Friday, 24 September 2010

Keeping up with the Jones'

I am of the opinion that it doesn't matter how much money you have, or how many bedrooms you have. I'm all about the love and good solid parenting.

I make mistakes. I would love a bigger house. I would love to win the lottery or at very least have a good stable income for us both, in which we had the elusive 'spare' cash at the end of each month.
But do my children suffer? Do they mind that we have a small house? Do they care that we don't have a lot of money? Do they go without?

The answer to all of the above is no. They couldn't give a stuff.

They are very well cared for, they are very much loved (and they know it!) and they are extremely close.
This isn't by mistake. This was how they were and will continue to be raised.

This won't be every one's view of course, lots of people will want the complete financial security and the 5 bedroomed house prior to starting or at least expanding their families and that's right for them. But is my view so wrong? Is it so awful?
I could live in a beautifully decorated stately home, surrounded by enough grounds to put the forestry commission to shame. I could have a millionaires bank balance. I could be in the position to give my children anything and everything they could ever want.
Would this make me a better parent? Would it mean I'd love my children any more than I already do? Would giving them every opportunity and possession they could ever care for, handed to them on a silver platter mean that I have raised them better then I do at the moment?
Of course not! Those that would answer yes are very disillusioned.

I knew what kind of family I wanted. I had a picture in my mind. And I will strive and work my arse off every second of every day of my entire life to reach that goal. That dream. My family.

We don't have help with our family, and we don't ask for it. It is important to my partner and I to raise our children ourselves. Sure the odd sleep over at the Grandparent's house would be welcomed, but we don't ask and it's not offered. We don't expect. I'm proud of us for that.

My children are well balanced and well behaved. They are polite and caring. They are loving and intelligent. They are grateful and honest.
They haven't needed the perfect house, the designer clothes or even the £30 a week pocket money (that some of their friends are given (at the age of 6!)) to become these well rounded, beautiful young children.

My kids do however, have the best parenting their Dad an I can give them. (it's not always perfect, but it is honest) We work together as one stable unit. We don't fight and argue about how we should raise our children, because our fundamental nurturing abilities are strong and consistent.

Our children have exactly what they need. They have love, in abundance. They have a roof over their heads, granted not the biggest, but we manage. And we manage very well!
They have toys and games and books and other play things to keep them entertained.
They have interested parents. Parents who take an active role in their lives. Parents who don't simply plonk them in front of a TV or PlayStation and leave them to their own devices.
Parents who take the time to plan activities and walks, and bike rides and craft sessions. Parents who don't pay others or relinquish their parental responsibilities for these all important bonding moments to childminders, friends or family members.

This works for us. It works for our children. And I am shocked that anyone, having met me and my children would or could think that my family are not well cared for.

Possessions aren't everything.  I hold my hands up and confess aloud, with all of you as my witness' that we have outgrown our house. But this doesn't make me a bad parent. I don't have a car at the moment either, and this doesn't qualify me as a bad parent either.

I don't know if it is some kind of weird jealousy thing? (I'm not sure why someone would be, jealous, I mean)  or if there are just a handful of spiteful people out there that get their kicks from trying to pick on an easy target? And I am an easy target, where my kids are concerned. I would do anything in my power to protect them.

If you really want to get to me and you really want to upset me and push me over the edge, then carry on doing what you are doing, because, it's working.
No matter how confident I am in my parenting skills and love for my children and their well being, if someone knocks me I will trip and stumble.
Just know this - I will always get back up to my feet. I will always fight and I will always strive for the best I can give my children, no matter what my circumstances. Nothing anyone says or does will stop that. Ever.

I become stronger and more of a fighter every single time. If you want to save your breath it would be much appreciated. If you want to give up the stalking and nasty comment making, I would be immensely grateful. But try as you might, you will never break me.

1 comment:

  1. Aha the spiteful anonymous has made a comeback I take it ?!!
    Kerry those who know you know just how loving your family is. Nobody can tell you otherwise.
    As for anonymous, seriously, if you are reading this, shut the F@*k up and find someone else to bully...or better still take a look in the mirror and start counting your own flaws (that should keep you busy for a while). When you're done with that take a look at your face..I'm guessing there's a good reason you are keeping it from Kerry and those who care about her.
    And by the way, your spite and constant stalking doesn't paint a very good picture of you, so exactly who are you to criticize anyone when you clearly have more issues than Heat magazine ?!!!