Many people hear that I have four young children and dub me a 'Supermum'.
Being a great mother isn't about how many children you have.
Are mothers to one child not as worthy of a 'Supermum' title?
The truth is, we all have our Supermum days.
The days where all the housework is done early, and the kids are playing happily with your homemade play dough and the evening meal is all organic.
The days where the kids are all bathed and ready for bed on time, and contently fall into a deep slumber as soon as you've finished reading their favourite bedtime story.
Or the days when you manage to get your little darlings to behave around a busy shop, without that little struggling monster, writhing around in a bid to escape the inevitable entrapment that is the supermarket trolley.
These are the days we are super mums. Regardless of how many children we have.
Of course, I will be one of the first to admit that entertaining a single child, or even two is a hell of a lot easier then trying to contend with 3 or 4 (or even more), but if you choose, and it is a choice, to have a bigger family, then that is something you have to become good at.. Quickly!
Most people, it seems still consider the age old 2.4 children to be the norm, and while there is certainly nothing wrong with that, that .4 of a child is very unattainable! so you chose to round up or down. In this case, I have seen quite a few families with 3 children coming through the ranks.
When you decide to have your third child, something unusual happens-
You start getting comments..
Ridiculously annoying comments like, "Don't you have a T.V?" and "God, you're brave!" and my personal favourite, "Again?! Surely it wasn't planned?"
Maybe the term 'Supermum' was branded around mothers with larger families simply for being able to control their tempers and bite their tongues after having to listen to these pathetic comments?!
The aim in life is to take the rough with the smooth, and fill over the cracks when they appear.
This makes you a good mother. This leads to happy and healthy children, no matter how many you decide to have.
Everyone has their bad days, of course. The days where you seem to be continuously telling off, or saying 'no'.
The days where the carpet on the 'naughty step' seems to be wearing thin.
The days when Daddy walks in and you walk out. However, we keep soldiering on, papering over the imperfections of the bad days and basking in the light of the good.
When your children grow, and can remember the happiness of their childhood and the bad memories are masked by supportive and loving parenting, this will grant you your 'Supermum' status, and it will, surely be well deserved.
I LOVE your last paragraph. I too have four small children and I was nodding my head all the way through your post.
ReplyDeleteAnd other people can be so rude about big families, I find it astounding sometimes!
Thank you Ella! It's lovely to find another mummy of 4 little 'uns! x
ReplyDeleteAwww this is a fantastic post!! I admit to calling anyone with more then one child 'supermum' .. The days where I struggle with Oli I think to myself that I must be crazy to even consider having another one just yet but as you pointed out you do become good at it. I read another post not long ago about someone with 3 kids who wrote about how it gets easier and how you adapt to it. Will return if I can remember who wrote it! :) x
ReplyDeleteThank you Emma!
ReplyDeleteYou do adapt. That's not to say that it's still bloody difficult juggling more then one child, but you learn along the way. And it dies eventually get easier as you find your own parenting technique! x
Great post. I often refer to my sister-in-law as a "supermum". She also has four children, but I think the name stuck some years back when she was still on two. It's less to do with the number of kids she has than the calm and creative manner in which she's always parented. Throughout my pregnancy, I've hounded her with questions, hoping I can be half the mother she is to my three nephews and niece. Strangely enough, she's reluctant to give too much advice because she doesn't consider herself an expert, though I adamantly disagree.
ReplyDeleteLike Ella, I particularly love your last paragraph. Beautifully put :-)
Thank you Amy.
ReplyDeleteGood parenting is all about confidence. Or more importantly, self confidence.
You'll do fine. And you have a huge support system with all us Mummy bloggers and Tweeters! X
What a lovely blog post Kerry xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks very much Helen x
ReplyDeleteReally good post! I only have the one child, but I'd like to have more when I'm well. My supermum days are very rare XD xx
ReplyDelete