Monday, 30 May 2011

Fighting Back

I've had quite a long break from both blogging and social networking in general (well, dodging Facebook completely and skipping the time lines of Twitter in favour of merely replying to mentions and direct messages)

I've been very stressed what with family commitments and the wedding, fast approaching. I have also been BPD's biatch a lot recently and my Doctor and Therapist both advised me to start writing about it all again, as that did actually help a lot in the early days.

I used to write about all of the depressive crap on my Falling Starlett blog and while it kinda helped keeping things in little boxes, it also started the beginning of a downward spiral.
Looking back, having 'bouncy, happy' Kerry here and 'dark and depressed' Kerry over there, split me in two. I soon lost the buzz I initially got from blogging and ended up retracting myself from both sides of me and becoming severely reclusive. Not just in the virtual world, but in the real one too.

I have found some fantastic people over the past couple of months who have really helped open me up to the idea of being part of the world again. It's been a long and slow process and one that I couldn't have done without Drew's continuous love and support too.

I'm still trying to break back into things, trying to find my stride, my place to 'fit in'. It's going to take a while longer yet, but I'm making a start, and the first thing I'm changing, are my 'boxes'.

This blog will still firmly remain a family orientated place, but I will no longer be keeping the different sides of me separate. If and when I feel the need to rant and rave and be depressive, it will be written here instead of Falling Starlett. I want to get back into my product reviews too, I've turned down a lot recently as I just couldn't face having anything else on my To-Do list.

I'm looking forward to CyberMummy in 3 weeks time and of course my wedding, and I shall be updating you all with part 2 of 'Sneak Peek -Wedding VLog' very soon :)

1 comment:

  1. I don't have BPD, but I do have a history of depression and anxiety disorder. It sometimes interferes with my blogging too, if I'm having a bad day (or week, or month) I tend to withdraw and don't want to interact with the world.

    Good on you for getting back on the horse as they say. It's particularly hard coming back after a lengthy hiatus because you feel you need to explain your absence and don't know where to to pick things up again.

    Congrats on your upcoming wedding btw - June 24th is a special day for me too as it will be my son's first birthday!